My First Time

Ok, dig your brain out of the gutter. I'm talking about my first blog here. I've attempted a blog before, but I frequently forget to go back to it. Maybe I'll do better this time.

Today was an interesting day. Around noon, I was starting to feel a little freaked out. It's still so early in my pregnancy that there isn't really a way to know day to day whether the baby is still ok. After losing Alexander at 22 weeks, I just don't have any notions that a pregnancy will be successful anymore. Anyhow, I'm 15 weeks now but it's still early enough that the baby's movements are still too light to feel for the most part. I have been feeling some movement but it's not regular or predictable. So, after a bit of waffling, I decided to call the doctor's office and see if I could get in today to check on the baby. I kind of played up the cramps I've been having but not the pressure I've been feeling. So, they took me at 1:45PM. The nurse spent about 5 minutes looking for the heartbeat and couldn't find it. I started to get upset. I was sure that my worst fears had become reality again.

The nurse left and sent the doctor in. I was seeing Dr. McFadden today. He asked a couple questions and then brought the Doppler back over. In less than a minute, he found our bean's heartbeat! I almost started crying - again. I was so relieved. I've been feeling so scared and depressed for a while now. Our bean's heart was beating at about 145bpm. I was so happy! I still am. After the Doppler, he asked a few questions about the cramping and I answered. He said the cramping and pressure can be normal in subsequent pregnancies. I was relieved to hear that too. I wasn't so relieved, however, to hear that he was going to do an internal. The good news is that my cervix is high, tight and thick. Just as it should be. You didn't know that there was going to be this much personal info in here, did you?