Yet another year has come and gone in my life. I've been sitting here, reflecting on this day that has passed and also this past year. For many people, edging closer to the big 4-0, as I am doing, becomes a bit of a depressing thing. I turned 38 today, so I really don't have much longer to go before I start the next decade of my life. I've been sitting here, trying to decide how I actually feel about it.
Honestly, I really don't even feel like I'm close to 40. I feel like I'm still a kid, waiting to be a real grownup. I wonder if I'll ever feel like a real grownup. I have all the responsibilities - bills, taxes, kids, husband. Is that what makes you a grownup? I'm not even sure this makes sense - looking at the calendar, I know I'm an almost 40 year old adult but, it just doesn't seem possible that so many years have passed. When did it all happen?
At this point, all this weirdness over how old I am might get confused as being upset or depressed about getting older. That's the funny thing. I'm not upset at all. When I start thinking back over the years, my regrets are so few and my joys are so bountiful that I can only think about what wonderful things there are to come. When I start thinking about all of the tomorrows to come, I can't help but think about my two precious babies (who are not really babies anymore) and my husband and all of the joys that they bring to my life. Don't get me wrong, it's not all rainbows and unicorns. There are definitely times that I feel like the kids are plucking at my last nerve and I'm going to pull out all of my hair as I am driven up the nearest wall. But no matter what, at the end of the day, when those sweet faces are looking up at me from their beds, all the craziness fades away and there is only joy. I just can't wait to see what the next day will bring with my awesome family. And it's not just my immediate family that brings happiness and joy into my life. It really is an awesome thing that I have my parents and my grandparents and my three brothers and their families in my life as well. I also have some of the most amazing friends in the world - both in real life and online.
When it comes down to it, I really can't be sad about getting older. I am surrounded by people that I love and who love me. I have more joy in my life than I ever could have imagined. I love my life and I wouldn't trade what I have for anything. I am at the beginning of another fantastic year. What could be sad about that?
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